Facing the Holidays With the Grief of Loss

For many approaching this holiday season, there is no joy or cheer. 

They’re suffering from grief over the loss of a loved one who

“should” be with them, and they’re stuck in the past and how life was when that loved one was there. 

The loss could be through death, divorce, or a seemingly irreparable rift between siblings, friends, or parents and children. It could stem from the loss of a beloved pet as well as a beloved human. 

Whatever the source of the loss, it left a gaping hole, and that hole has been filled with grief, loneliness, and despair.

Some sufferers retreat to live in the past, longing for what was and what could have been had the loss not occurred. Cheerful greetings of Happy Thanksgiving or Merry Christmas fall on deaf ears, or elicit a silent response of “There’s nothing to be thankful for,” or “Being merry is not an option when your life is over.” 

They’re lonely, even if surrounded by friends, because those friends cannot take the place of the one who is missing. 

People in this state need the Flower Essence Honeysuckle. This flower remedy helps sufferers look back at the past and preserve what was beautiful, without grieving for its loss. It also helps bring them back into the present where they can begin once more to appreciate what they still do have in their lives. 

Water Violet is another flower remedy that can help people stop wallowing in their grief, come out of the shell, and begin to interact with others again. 

Many who suffer are hit with a “double whammy.” They are experiencing their own sorrow and are also concerned for the feelings of others who share the loss. Their excessive care can actually be harmful and crippling for those whose suffering they would hope to alleviate. 

Red Chestnut will help put their energies in balance, so they can be supportive in the shared grief, but not overpowering. 

If you’ve suffered a great loss in recent months you may be unable to summon feelings of joy for the holidays. But with help from Flower Remedies from FeelBach! you can put your energies in alignment so you can at least enjoy pleasant memories of that person or pet who is no longer with you.

Planning to send your children to summer camp this year?

If your children are headed for summer camp for the first time, they may be happy, excited, and eager to go, but… also afraid. Likewise, if they’ve gone before but experienced conflict with another camper or a counselor, they may not be sure they want to go at all.

And… once there, even the most eager camper may experience homesickness.

To counteract fear and let them fully enjoy their new experiences, start them on Dr. Bach’s Mimulus flower essence several days before their departure, and send it with them to use while they're away. It will help to balance their energies and let them enjoy themselves.

This is also a good remedy to use when children are forced to attend a new school due to the family's relocation, or when they go off to boarding school or college. Mimulus will help your child overcome fear and anxiety and face new experiences with confidence.

If you expect your child to be homesick, use Honeysuckle. Along with effectively counteracting homesickness, treatment with this flower essence results in an ability to learn from the past, integrate its lessons into the present for use in the present and future, and to cherish good memories while releasing the negative feelings of poor ones.

If your child is insecure or worried that they might not be as athletic as the other campers, add Centaury, or fill out the Feel Bach! questionnaire and let our experts create a blend made especially for him or her.

Image courtesy of debspoons at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When Longing for the Past Prevents Present Happiness

The holidays often bring melancholy to those who long for "the way it used to be." No present celebration brings joy, because today's celebrations are not the same as yesterday's.

People are missing –through death, through divorce, or through children growing up and moving on. Sometimes it's good friends who have moved away and left a void.
Big noisy holiday dinners, with perhaps 20 friends and family members around the table, become a thing of the past. Cooking for only one or two is depressing rather than joyful, and the longing for how it used to be prevents finding new ways to make the holidays special.

Feeling nostalgia for happy times is natural and normal, but when those feelings destroy enjoyment of the "now," they need to be addressed. The sufferer needs to move forward, accept change, and find enjoyment in today while still retaining and cherishing good memories of the past.

Honeysuckleis the Bach Flower Essence that will help re-balance those energies and allow a person to live well in the present.

If you or a loved one is having trouble letting go of the past long enough to live in the present, visit FeelBach! to get your personal remedy. Shipping is fast, so in just a few days you'll be on your way to a happier holiday season.

Stuck in the 50's?

Do you know someone who seems "stuck" in the 50's - or the 60's, 70's, or 80's?

Maybe it's you - unable or unwilling to fully accept the present, and longing to go back to the past. It may be a sign of a Honeysuckle personality - and living in its negative state.

It may be regret over growing older, unable to accept the loss of youth. I think of a woman I know who persists in going out for the evening in her young daughter's clothing - which looks fine on a teen, but not so fine on a woman in her 40's.

It may be regret over actions taken - or not taken - and a yearning to go back and do it over. Or it may simply be a strong aversion to change of any kind.

Whatever the reason, the negative Honeysuckle state prevents the sufferer from experiencing the joys and opportunities of his or her present life.

After treatment, the Honeysuckle personality will remember and learn from the past, and may even honor it. But he or she will no longer be tied to it, unable to enjoy the present.

As with all the Bach Flower Remedies, Honeysuckle aids in re-balancing energies and helping the person connect and by guided by his or her higher self.

To learn more about the Honeysuckle personality, visit www.bachflower.org. And if you're not sure that this is the remedy for you, come to Feel Bach! and do the questionnaire.

Preserve the Past, While Enjoying the Present

The holiday season is upon us, and along with it, sadness for far too many people. We all experience a bit of nostalgia, but for some, it becomes the focus of their lives, preventing joy in the present.

Those who have lost loved ones and are now alone find this season to be the toughest time of year – when they see other people gathering with families, laughing and making memories.

And even for some whose families are all still living, the nostalgia is painful. We miss those years when our children were small and we could make the world wonderful for them with just a decorated cookie or a Christmas stocking.

We miss the huge gatherings, the noise, and the confusion. Quiet holidays feel somehow lacking.

The feelings are all too real, and they can lead to a deep depression if not recognized and dealt with.

Honeysuckle is the Bach Flower Remedy to help get through these days.

Treatment with Honeysuckle allows a person to move forward into enjoying things of the present. In a positive Honesuckle state, individuals are able to recall the past with fondness, keep what they’ve learned from it, and yet expect more good things from the present.

If you’re “stuck” in the past, wishing for events and people who cannot come into your present experience, visit FeelBach! and begin treatment with Honesuckle now so that you can enjoy this holiday season.

When the Past Prevents Happiness in the Now

The holidays often bring melancholy to those who have lost loved ones, or who yearn for the days when their children were small and the family was large and boisterous.

They miss the noisy holiday dinners, with perhaps 20 friends and family members around the table. They mourn for those who have passed on, and wish that their children could be home again, rather than living in some other part of the country - or dining with their in-laws.

If holiday dinners are now the same as dinner every other day - cooking for only one or two - it's easy to feel depressed.

These are natural and normal feelings, but when they destroy enjoyment of the "now," they need to be addressed. The sufferer needs to move forward, accept change, and find enjoyment in today while still retaining and cherishing good memories of the past.

Honeysuckle is the Bach Flower Essence that will help re-balance those energies and allow a person to live well in the present.

It's also natural to have regrets from the past. Everyone has done or said something that he or she wishes could be erased. If those regrets have grown into genuine feelings of guilt, then Pine can be added to the Honeysuckle for a more complete Bach Flower Remedy.

If you or a loved one is having trouble letting go of the past long enough to live in the present, visit FeelBach! to get your personal remedy. Shipping is fast, so in just a few days you'll be on your way to a happier holiday season.

Would you like to know more about what each of the Bach Flower Essences can do to enrich your life? Visit our information site to read about each of the 38 Bach Flower Remedies.

Kids and Summer Camp - the Emotional Conflict

Are your children headed off to summer camp this year?

If so, they may experience an emotional conflict that leaves you frustrated. They want to go, they know they'll have fun, but when they get there, homesickness can become the over-riding emotion.

To counteract this emotion and let them fully enjoy their new experiences, start them on the Bach Flower Remedy Honeysuckle several days before their departure, and send it with them to use while they're away. It will help to balance their energies and keep them in the present.

This is also a good remedy to use when children are forced to attend a new school due to the family's relocation, or when they go off to boarding school or college. These events trigger a mild form of the negative Honeysuckle state, which can delay their acceptance of the present and cause a longer adjustment time.

If your child also suffers from other imbalances, such as lack of self-esteem, fill out the Feel Bach! questionnaire and get a blend made especially for him or her.

Honeysuckle is most often used to treat people who can't release the past - either its pleasant memories or its mistakes. It is seen in widows who can't part with their late husband's belongings or become involved in a new relationship, even years later.

It's also seen in those who can't accept the inevitable changes that come with aging - and this resistance can actually accelerate the body's deterioration, showing up in a "defeated" carriage and poor skin quality.

Along with effectively counteracting homesickness, treatment with this Bach Flower Essence results in an ability to learn from the past, integrate its lessons into the present for use in the present and future, and to cherish good memories while releasing the negative feelings of poor ones.

Are you an "Angry American?"

Many are angry today - as evidenced by the huge attendance at the April 15 "Tea Parties."

But anger alone won't bring about the changes that citizens seek. In fact, an overload of anger and resentment - and hatred - can immobilize a person and prevent them from taking steps that might be productive.

Holly is the Bach Flower Remedy that helps dispel hatred, envy, resentment, and doubt - all of which can get in the way of positive action.

For many, fear of the future goes hand-in-hand with the anger - especially if the economic downturns have meant job loss or salary reductions. Mimulus is the anti-fear Bach Essence. This flower essence helps us to face challenges with will-power and determination. Used with Honesuckle, which helps us accept things as they happen, rather than live in the past, it can be the ticket to creating a bright future.

Visit FeelBach today and choose the remedy that will keep you on a steady emotional keel while we navigate these troubled economic waters...