Facing the Holidays With the Grief of Loss

For many approaching this holiday season, there is no joy or cheer. 

They’re suffering from grief over the loss of a loved one who

“should” be with them, and they’re stuck in the past and how life was when that loved one was there. 

The loss could be through death, divorce, or a seemingly irreparable rift between siblings, friends, or parents and children. It could stem from the loss of a beloved pet as well as a beloved human. 

Whatever the source of the loss, it left a gaping hole, and that hole has been filled with grief, loneliness, and despair.

Some sufferers retreat to live in the past, longing for what was and what could have been had the loss not occurred. Cheerful greetings of Happy Thanksgiving or Merry Christmas fall on deaf ears, or elicit a silent response of “There’s nothing to be thankful for,” or “Being merry is not an option when your life is over.” 

They’re lonely, even if surrounded by friends, because those friends cannot take the place of the one who is missing. 

People in this state need the Flower Essence Honeysuckle. This flower remedy helps sufferers look back at the past and preserve what was beautiful, without grieving for its loss. It also helps bring them back into the present where they can begin once more to appreciate what they still do have in their lives. 

Water Violet is another flower remedy that can help people stop wallowing in their grief, come out of the shell, and begin to interact with others again. 

Many who suffer are hit with a “double whammy.” They are experiencing their own sorrow and are also concerned for the feelings of others who share the loss. Their excessive care can actually be harmful and crippling for those whose suffering they would hope to alleviate. 

Red Chestnut will help put their energies in balance, so they can be supportive in the shared grief, but not overpowering. 

If you’ve suffered a great loss in recent months you may be unable to summon feelings of joy for the holidays. But with help from Flower Remedies from FeelBach! you can put your energies in alignment so you can at least enjoy pleasant memories of that person or pet who is no longer with you.

Too much love can harm your loved ones

Can there be too much love? Yes, when that love translates into excessive worry and concern for those you love. 

You’ve no doubt heard the term “Smother Love.” This is a state in which you love a child so much that you harm them in an effort to keep them safe. 

Have you known mothers who were so obsessed with protection that their children were not allowed to develop any resistance? No pets, no playing in the mud, no picking up a toy that another child dropped, and absolutely no eating a cookie that they dropped on the floor. These are often the children who develop allergies and catch every cold or flu bug that makes its way through their schools. 

They may also be children who are afraid to make new friends.

It’s not just mothers who over-love. Fathers might refuse to let a child play a sport or go to summer

camp because they might get hurt. They might refuse to let a child learn to drive and they sit up at night waiting for a teen to get home.

These parents might say things such as “Go away to college? Absolutely not – there’s a good school right here where you can live at home.” 

Their constant refrain is “What if…” and the outcome they imagine is always negative. 

This is dangerous, for if they plant this thought in the hearts of their children, the children may also develop the “what if” thoughts, and the law of attraction can make those dire predictions come true. 

Children are not the only objects of “Smother love.” You may also know people who worry constantly about a sibling, a parent, a spouse, or a significant other. 

They try to clear the path for them, try to anticipate the dangers and protect them, and worry excessively when the other person is out of their sight. 

All of these people are suffering from worry, but the suffering doesn’t stop with them. The objects of their affection suffer as well, because they carry that love as a burden. The over-protectiveness and constant hovering can be stifling and emotionally damaging. It can stunt their growth as individuals because they try to stay in safe zones to keep the other person from worrying. 

Since emotional pain often translates into physical pain, all this misdirected love can cause a variety of symptoms, such as headaches, upset stomachs, and allergies. 

If you tend to love too much, you are suffering, and the object of your love is suffering. 

Dr. Bach’s Red Chestnut can help you relax and love appropriately. 

Not sure if this is the formula for you? Visit FeelBach! and take our questionnaire. Our experts will put together the right blend to help you enjoy life. 

Image courtesy of Kittisak at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is there such a thing as too much love?

Unfortunately, there is. Perhaps not too much love, but too much worry and concern for loved ones.

The fact is, you can love your friends and family so much that you can harm them. If you're doing this, you need Red Chestnut.

Red Chestnut is the Flower Essence for those who worry unnecessarily about the health and well-

being of their loved ones. For instance, the Father who can't allow a child to go off to summer camp because he or she might get hurt; the Mother who walks the floor until her adult child, or anyone else she loves, calls to say they have safely made it to a destination; and the Grandmother who tries to discourage her grandchildren from participating in sports because she fears for their safety.

Their constant thought is "what if..." and they imagine the worst. 

These parents and grandparents are suffering - there's no doubt, but unfortunately, they are not the only ones who suffer. While the concern is based in love, the over-protectiveness and hovering can be stifling and even emotionally damaging to those they worry about. 

In fact, this much "love" can cause physical symptoms as well. When writing about this malady, Dr. Bach told about the reactions of his friends when he had suffered an accident. He said he felt their worry as an acute physical pain in his own body.

Since the last thing you want to inflict on your loved ones is pain, visit FeelBach! today and learn how Dr. Bach's Essences can help you release the fears that keep you from enjoying having people to love.

Shed the Worry – Don't Let World Events Make You Sick

Every time you turn on the TV, check your email, or read a newspaper there's more bad news.

From the decisions being made in Washington D.C. to events around the world, there's worry over politics. And then there's crime, job losses, the escalating national debt – and it goes on and on. 

But can you change it by worrying? No. 

You can help change a few things at home by voting. You can help ease some suffering in your own community by becoming a volunteer. You can add to prosperity in the world by working, and teaching your children that work is a good and honorable pursuit. 

You can help protect yourself and your loved ones by using good sense. Follow a sensible diet, drive safely, avoid walking on dark streets, etc. 

But you can't change world events or save people from their own destructive behavior. All you can do by living in fear is make yourself sick – and make your loved ones miserable.

So stop taking the world on your shoulders. Let go of the fear of what might happen. 

Several of Dr. Bach's essences are here to help you.  

• Aspen treats pathological worry. 
• Cherry Plum dissipates fear and the sense of losing control. 
• Mimulus treats all types of fears and instills courage. 
• Gorse and SweetChestnut give us confidence to face life with hope and positive feelings. 
• Mustard fights depression. 
• Red Chestnut dissipates fear of illness. 

This is your life. Live it to the fullest by banishing the fears that tarnish your days.