Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Too much love can harm your loved ones

Can there be too much love? Yes, when that love translates into excessive worry and concern for those you love. 

You’ve no doubt heard the term “Smother Love.” This is a state in which you love a child so much that you harm them in an effort to keep them safe. 

Have you known mothers who were so obsessed with protection that their children were not allowed to develop any resistance? No pets, no playing in the mud, no picking up a toy that another child dropped, and absolutely no eating a cookie that they dropped on the floor. These are often the children who develop allergies and catch every cold or flu bug that makes its way through their schools. 

They may also be children who are afraid to make new friends.

It’s not just mothers who over-love. Fathers might refuse to let a child play a sport or go to summer
camp because they might get hurt. They might refuse to let a child learn to drive and they sit up at night waiting for a teen to get home.

These parents might say things such as “Go away to college? Absolutely not – there’s a good school right here where you can live at home.” 

Their constant refrain is “What if…” and the outcome they imagine is always negative. 

This is dangerous, for if they plant this thought in the hearts of their children, the children may also develop the “what if” thoughts, and the law of attraction can make those dire predictions come true. 

Children are not the only objects of “Smother love.” You may also know people who worry constantly about a sibling, a parent, a spouse, or a significant other. 

They try to clear the path for them, try to anticipate the dangers and protect them, and worry excessively when the other person is out of their sight. 

All of these people are suffering from worry, but the suffering doesn’t stop with them. The objects of their affection suffer as well, because they carry that love as a burden. The over-protectiveness and constant hovering can be stifling and emotionally damaging. It can stunt their growth as individuals because they try to stay in safe zones to keep the other person from worrying. 

Since emotional pain often translates into physical pain, all this misdirected love can cause a variety of symptoms, such as headaches, upset stomachs, and allergies. 

If you tend to love too much, you are suffering, and the object of your love is suffering. 

Dr. Bach’s Red Chestnut can help you relax and love appropriately. 

Not sure if this is the formula for you? Visit FeelBach! and take our questionnaire. Our experts will put together the right blend to help you enjoy life. 

Image courtesy of Kittisak at FreeDigitalPhotos.net