We've all experienced the negative Heather state...

But allowing ourselves to stay there can have a disastrous effect on relationships.

In this state, sufferers have a compulsive need to talk and be heard. Whether the news is good or bad, they want you to know it. Getting away from them is difficult, and in fact they may buttonhole you against a wall, because they'll move closer and closer as you attempt to back away.

You may know people who live their entire lives in this state – I certainly do. They not only talk too much and for too long, they tend to "invade your space," making their presence uncomfortable for you.

When you see them coming, you attempt to put a counter, a desk, a chair, or even another person between them and you.

In the negative Heather state, the person is entirely focused on themselves. It doesn't even occur to them to be interested in anyone else. Should you turn the conversation toward yourself or another person, they'll quickly find a way to relate anything you've said right back to themselves.

It's easy simply dislike them. But, thinking compassionately we need to recognize that they are extremely "needy."

The Heather personality in its positive state is an entirely different matter. These individuals are good listeners, filled with empathy for others, and more than willing to pitch in and work hard on group projects.

Don't worry if you fall into the negative state from time to time. It's natural following a traumatic event, an illness, or a financial setback. Just don't stay there. Instead, get the Bach Flower Essence Heather and begin to reconnect with your Higher Self.

If you're not sure what you need to get out of an uncomfortable emotional state, visit Feel Bach! and fill out the questionnaire. Our experts will help you.

The Negative Heather State - Hard on Friends

Last week I attended a meeting, and I think that at least 3 of the people there were suffering from the negative Heather state. But as much as they might be suffering, the people around them suffer even more.

You probably know someone who lives in the negative Heather state. They're the ones who dominate every meeting - and instead of offering constructive comments, they disrupt the discussion by constantly trying to pull the conversation back to themselves and what they do or say or think. They're also the ones who, when left alone, will get on the phone and keep calling until they find someone who will let them go on about themselves for an hour or two at a time.

It's this trait that causes otherwise friendly people to begin using the Caller I.D. on their telephones in order to avoid talking with them. A few years ago I belonged to an organization that included 3 of these personalities. I quit answering my phone because I have work to do and no amount of saying "I need to get back to work now" would get them to stop talking so I could hang up the phone. There were many times when I considered pretending that my phone had gone dead.

The sad thing is, the negative Heather person is needy. They're like small children calling "Watch me, watch me," but in their attempts to get the attention they seek they drive others away.

Once treated with Bach Flower Essences, this person finally realizes that the way to get the attention and affection they crave is to care about other people. Only then can they enjoy real friendships.