Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Negative Heather State - Hard on Friends


Last week I attended a meeting, and I think that at least 3 of the people there were suffering from the negative Heather state. But as much as they might be suffering, the people around them suffer even more.

You probably know someone who lives in the negative Heather state. They're the ones who dominate every meeting - and instead of offering constructive comments, they disrupt the discussion by constantly trying to pull the conversation back to themselves and what they do or say or think. They're also the ones who, when left alone, will get on the phone and keep calling until they find someone who will let them go on about themselves for an hour or two at a time.

It's this trait that causes otherwise friendly people to begin using the Caller I.D. on their telephones in order to avoid talking with them. A few years ago I belonged to an organization that included 3 of these personalities. I quit answering my phone because I have work to do and no amount of saying "I need to get back to work now" would get them to stop talking so I could hang up the phone. There were many times when I considered pretending that my phone had gone dead.

The sad thing is, the negative Heather person is needy. They're like small children calling "Watch me, watch me," but in their attempts to get the attention they seek they drive others away.

Once treated with Bach Flower Essences, this person finally realizes that the way to get the attention and affection they crave is to care about other people. Only then can they enjoy real friendships.
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